Every yes is a no to something else

Whoever says yes says no at the same time. To an invitation, to an assignment, to an evening, to a plan.

The key statement

A decision for something is always also a decision against something else.

The basic problem

Many people find saying no hard, because they experience it as a rejection of another person.

Yet whoever declines an invitation because they want to spend the evening with their family is above all saying yes: yes to the family.

The no needs a yes

Whoever does not know what they are saying yes to will find it hard to say no. A no needs a yes that carries it: one’s own stance, what is essential to a person.

Boundaries therefore follow from the decision foundation. Where a person has established where they want to go and which conditions hold for that, boundaries arise almost by themselves.

My stance

A no may be clear and friendly. A no needs no reason that convinces the other. A person who knows their boundaries saves energy and becomes more reliable for others.