Your identity is the key

Two people sit in the same room and hear the same sentence. One feels attacked, the other encouraged. Nothing about the sentence has changed. Only the eyes through which it was heard.

The basic problem

People look for change on the outside, although everything results from their identity.

How a person sees themselves, their surroundings and reality results from their identity. Identity is the filter through which everything they perceive passes.

Cause and effect

Behind this works the law of cause and effect. Thoughts, stances, perspectives and values arise from identity. From them arise actions, words and behaviours, and these produce an effect: in relationships, at work, in everyday life.

How the effect turns out therefore depends on what the identity looks like.

The key statement

When something changes at a person’s core, everything on the outside changes with it.

My work therefore starts where everything begins.

What identity consists of

Identity is everything that makes a person who they are: their experiences, their imprints from childhood, what was inherited and what they took over from the generations before them, from the family they grew up in.

When a role ends

Some people are so absorbed in their roles that they lose themselves in them. When the role ends, they suddenly no longer know who they are. Yet they are still there. Their identity stands; they have only lost sight of their core.

What they need then is, first, room to recognise themselves again. After that they can deliberately establish where they stand, where they want to go and who they want to be.

Identity can be shaped

Identity is flexible and malleable. No one is condemned to be a certain way for all time. They can create who they want to be and establish that with confidence.

My work rests on this. I help people build their life, their relationship, or whatever it is about, entirely deliberately.